Prophet Muhammad, The Great Messenger SAWS

The Last Prophet   [click highlighted link to view movie]

The Last Prophet

The Last Prophet

Since birth, I had no knowledge of Islam, the Qur’an, much less the Prophet Muhammad SAWS. I have only read about all of these in books that I find lying around my workplace lobby. But I heard that this man SAWS is no ordinary man. He SAWS (Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Salam) was not born as how special the Prophet Esau (Jesus) AS (Alaihi Salam) was. But this man SAWS had a very special role from Allah SWT (Subhana Wa Ta’allah). In fact, this man SAWS had a very special place in Allah’s SWT heart.

Just like how the innocence of children are attracted to anything colorful and animated, I was similarly attracted to the animated movie about the Prophet SAWS. There may be a lot of reading materials about him SAWS. But this full length high density quality movie brought me to tears. Should anyone not love the Prophet SAWS more after watching this must have a heart of stone.

I run out of better words to honor this man SAWS. But his greatness in his humility made me respect and understand the essence of Makkah. Inshallah I will tread that path to Makkah. May Allah SWT make me worthy to set foot on the place of the Kabah.

Ya Allah Ya Rabb, may I not die without being forgiven. And may I not die without at least once having had said my prayers at Makkah. Ameen Ya Rabb.

[The author is subscribed to the account of finalreligioncom on YOUTUBE.]

 

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I AM HOME!

Bismillah Ar Rahmanir Rahim.

August 20th 2011 Manila Time. August 19th 2011 Riyadh Time. 19 Ramadhan 1432 Higri Calendar. Finally, I have arrived.

I had a bad dream the night before. I dreamt I was with my whole family and my cousins (mom-side). And I heard the Adhan or the call to prayer. Then I left my companions and searched for a place to pray. I saw people from my local community praying in their own plain clothes on individual sujadas (prayer mats) on two rows. I placed mine somewhere close to them but in a peculiar corner to be discreet. And then while I was prostrating in prayer, these men touched me, my body, my face, and mocked me. I ran in fear. But suddenly I realized that I had to fight back. So I ran back to the men and hit them back. Alhamdulillaah I woke up right after. But I was panting. Scary. Freaky.

Although I was on day-off for this particular Friday, I wasn’t really planning to go anywhere except to Batha with my friend to find this particular copy of the Qur’an. So we went to the “headquarters” of the mottawa (which I call Bulwagan ng Mottawa in Tagalog) to ask about it. The people outside said that particular copy was not available and that Qur’an was never sold. And then my friend resolved to enter into the dreaded headquarters, in my mind, just to ask. And then she finally surrendered me to perform my Shahadah.  Finally.

Coming into this tent was usually scary for many because this was the place where the erring Muslims or non-Muslims would be brought to be apprehended for violation of Muslim rules.  But I was kinda flat affect.  Adee.  Arabic for “usual” or “normal”.  And then this woman started to approach my friend and I.  And then she started to talk about Islam, Muslims, Allaah, Prophet Mohammed.  I listened to her very intently as I imagined I was hearing what I have already read.  I felt so good to hear about what I had already read.  It affirmed my understanding.  After over an hour or two, I spoke to this Arab man right behind the wall.  One of his questions was “Are you 100% sure?”  I said “No. 101% sure.” And I heard him laugh.  And then he asked me another time.  And I said “102% sure.”  And I heard him smile and he said “Fi zayada ithneen huh? (Increased by two!)”  And I said “if you ask me another time I will tell you 103% sure.”  And then he said, “You are now a Muslim and your children are automatic Muslims too.” Alhamdulillaahi Rabbi Al Ameen!

This is a most wonderful surprise for me!  Indeed a prayer is answered.  And I am so forever grateful!  What made it so emotional was that the Mottawa mentioned that my children are automatically Muslims too!  And I have prayed all this time for a way to make them be brought here for them to become one Inshallaah.  Subhanallaah!  I find them so lucky because my daughters need not struggle so hard to start their quest for the truth.  Mumay is here, my dear ones.  I will be like the star that will shine your way in the beautiful darkness of the sky.

I have hit two birds with one stone.  Within my prayers before wherein I do not know what else to ask for but that to open the hearts of the people I love, all the more right now, what is there that I need when Allaah has already sent this blessing to me and my children – this blessing that I feel have taken me a lifetime to long for.  There is nothing I shall want.  But I continue to pray that I be kept stronger and more steadfast in faith to deserve such wonderful blessings that is indeed a privilege for the chosen.  And that in being so, I shine brighter to show others the truth in Islam as there is no ‘real’ other.

My name is Najma.  And I’m so glad, I am home!

Muslim By Heart

I have been through an almost fatal accident that caused me to succumb into a comatose.  I have also braved riding a tourist bus that turned turtle at the edge of a cliff after swerving several times on a mountainside highway.  I have survived an attempt of rape that resulted to eight stabbed wounds from my skull down to my rear on my second trimester of  my first pregnancy.   I have succeeded the national Nursing board exams one time big time with an ailing memory after my coma.  Subahanallaah!  Subhanallaah!  Subhanallaah!  But by far, there is yet the most difficult quest in my life: to find the truth is never easy.

A colleague who knew my biggest secret told me something that struck me big time.  He said that to be a Muslim or to embrace Islam in that light is like holding on to a flaming charcoal.  It takes a strong man to hold on to his religion.  Or must I rather say to a religious way of life?  At the back of my mind, I thought, does that explain why I had to go through a lot first before I got to where I am now?  Alhamdulillah.  Alhamdulillah.  Alhamdulillah.   I felt I passed a qualifying test.  But I am not celebrating yet.

As I try to recall  experiences that seemed not to conform with the norms of the culture where I was raised since my childhood.  it dawned on me why I feel differently strange about a lot of things.  I do not mean to justify juvenile disobedience.  Nor the typical curiosity of a preschooler.  Nor the adventurous saga of an adolescent.  Nor the mixed temperament of the mid-life crisis.  More than anything that I can explain, Subhanallaah, this explains why I pester my religion teachers with questions that seemed senseless.  Or why I was burdened to ask each and every saint to intercede for my intentions.  Or why I always awakened by someone on a public address before the break of dawn who call on people to what I thought was an exercise program.  Or why I was denied admission to the nunnery.  Or why I believed my Dad was right somehow about his questions about dogmas.  Or why  I was led to a revolutionary life.  Or why I was so comfortable up our rooftop conversing directly to The One.  All because there is Only One.  No if’s.  No but’s.  Subhanallaah.

Hence my quest remains to be a secret to most people I know who knows me.  Because I feel that I need to be validated yet.  Not by any religious police or teacher.  I feel I do not need to explain myself to anyone else.  But I feel that I need to purge myself more for Allaah to be worthy to be even called a Muslim.

Allaah, the All-Knowing, knows no doubt what is in this sinful heart.  Allaah, the Beneficent, the Merciful, the All-Merciful, knows how my heart cries in repentance for my ignorance all this time.  Though I claim to know not beyond what Allaah allows my free will to comprehend, what I am certain is that Allaah has caused all things to happen to send me back home to the true deen.

I have just arrived.  And this is just the beginning.  I struggle to perform Salat in the way the Prophet [SAWS] has prayed.  I commit myself to learn about Islam everyday in every way that I can.  I strive to educate myself of  the completeness of the Qur’an to guide me through my quest.  And then Inshallaah I will be called Muslim not because I declare my Shahādah but Allaah kareem from within me, Inshallaah others will see the light in the dark and that more people will be led back to the right path to Allaah.

Alhamdulillaah.

 

Out Of The Shadow

This trip was so unplanned.  At least by me.  Everyone in my family didn’t approve about my coming to this specific country.  Even my friends warned me that I may not be able to survive out here where there is no freedom.  Saudi Arabia has had this notorious reputation for cutting off heads of anyone who fails to obey their rules.  I must say they all know me.

I have always been a nonconformist.  I would always be a devil’s advocate.  At times, I was considered a rebel.  Had I lived in the Spanish Era, I would have been called this term for non-believers who would always question teachings.  That term though escapes me at this moment.  But yes, I am known to be that, too, especially in school when Catechism was taught.  I would throw a lot of questions that would pester the class at times and challenge the teacher as well.  But I sincerely wanted answers.  I just feel that there is more that I should know.

Not that I feel like I am a genius who does not get satisfied with shallow discussions hence I philosophize.  Nope.  My education inculcated in me this hunger for growth.  My teachers have always seen my potentials for reaching farther than just ordinary tertiary level education.  As I come from a very reputable Spanish exclusive school whose products have shone in different fields of endeavor.  We are the cream of the crop.  And beauty and brains is an ordinary experience.  Yet, in spite of all that, I remained lost somewhere.  Especially when the topic is about religion.

Should my siblings read about this, they must surely be confused.  My brothers are products of Jesuit education.  Another devout sect.  Strongly Christian.  Our parents sent all of us to the best schools in the country.  Alhamdulillah.  I know our parents wanted to secure us also spiritually that we were sent to Catholic, not just Christian, schools.  Because our schools must reflect the culture that we lived with at home.

At home, we pray the rosary.  Since I am a first born, I was taught very well early in my childhood about how to pray and to lead prayers like how old Spanish families are.  I memorized the Litany, responses to prayers, novenas, and even responses and the course at the Mass.    Yet on my own, I had a very personal relationship with my God that I have kept all this time to myself because I know had others known, they would think I’m all nuts.

My family and friends love me.  Alhamdulillah.  They all know me.  I have grown with them.  They know that I can be so strange at times with my ways.  Inshaallah,  when I break the news to them about my “homecoming”, they will understand that the strange ways headed to a better direction, if not the best.