I was watching this prime time soap opera the other night that starred this young actress and budding actor vis a vis singer. What struck me on that particular episode was how they relished their brief kissing scene. Since I don’t know when, I do not enjoy watching kissing scenes, torrid or otherwise, or those segments that drive your senses crazy. I just felt that they are all too mushy. Pretentiously mushy.
Until a few minutes after, I had a moment with an old Muslim friend. I noticed how she has bloomed since a week ago when kohl was applied to make her eyes look lovelier. I asked her what her husband’s reaction was when he saw her. And yes, those shutters looked so beautiful to her husband too. He loved her new look. And because of that she was all the more excited to run home to him after work. There’s this expression in the native Tagalog language of how suggestive these simple caprices are to ignite an “action-packed” night. No malice intended but it was a natural girl thingy.. No. Woman thingy. It was a natural woman thingy how wives would love to please their husbands. This particular moment with her became an eye (and a heart) opener.
Since my separation for almost a decade ago, my interest in attracting men have declined. Not that I have to make so much effort in attracting the opposite sex, but that I never intentionally sought a boyfriend who would spend days and nights chatting over the phone or the net with me. Or someone I would be going on romantic dates with. No-uh! I felt that men have no place in my life since I drive my wheels. I fix my plumbing. I troubleshoot my engine. Name it. I was raised doing a man’s job. My Dad and my two brothers were enough men in my life for me. And since I already have two darling teeners, I would not need someone else.
And then, the last meeting I had with my Da’i (a person who does Daw’ah or who talks about Islam) friend came to mind. She told me about my options on marriage inshallah. She described rather vividly the role that a Muslim wife plays in a marriage. And what captured me most was that she mentioned that the taking care of each other’s needs as partners In The Name of Allah is significantly reciprocated. She said that while the husband takes care of the aesthetic, nutritional, health, and childbearing needs of the wife, it is the responsibility of the wife to satisfy her husband bismillah in every single way you can and cannot imagine. And then, my creative senses started doodling in my mental drawing board everything that I have avoided about a relationship after a very traumatizing marriage.
Subhanallah, after I saw the twinkling eyes of my excited friend plus that mushy kissing scene that I saw on TV, I felt this creeping excitement of being in love again. It struck me how the look in the eyes of this woman and how loving a couple is married for and in Allah’s love, I begin to realize something. I realized that there is so much security and happiness in a relationship that Allah SWT has ordained.
With all this said, I still don’t like advertising myself. I am not the usual female who would dress to impress. Instead, I beautify myself from the inside. I don’t care if no dashing hunk notices that. But what matters more is that Allah SWT knows what’s in my heart. And Allah SWT sees how I have bloomed inside because of Allah SWT.
Qadarullahi wa maa shaa’a fa’al. (It is the destiny of Allah and He does whatever He wishes.)
Inspired all the more by this photo I viewed from an Islamic site on Facebook, inshallah if it pleases Allah may I be the right woman for my man.