It’s not like someone just made me realize that I had been living in hell. But this person rubbed it in too much that indeed I am far from being perfect. Not also that I though that I had been living a righteous life. Oh no! Didn’t I say before that I do not normally conform with the culure wherein I was raised? But it just sucks to know how far from the Right Path I had been traversing.
Since I had been feeling strongly this extraordinary beat of my heart that’s been jumping with happiness when I realized I have finally found the answers to my endless questions, deep inside, suddenly there’s this certain fear. And it’s one fear that I have never felt before. I can’t actually explain what this is. Because I would usually be not really daredevil but someone who would go the distance fearlessly. But now it gives you this creepy feeling that
hey! you’re being watched!
This journey admittedly is something I am so excited about. This is a fulfillment for me should I succeed in this. I have longed to be in Allaah’s ‘arms’. Inshallaah.